Poonam Sharma
The Silent Crisis of Consent in Indian Marriages
India’s deeply rooted tradition of arranged marriages often hides a grim reality — the absence of genuine consent. The tragic deaths of Ketan Agarwal and Twisha Sharma, among others, have exposed the dark underbelly of a culture where saying “no” to a marriage is treated as an unthinkable act.
Marriage in India is more than a union between two people; it’s a social contract involving families, traditions, and expectations. Families meticulously plan weddings, from horoscopes to guest lists, but rarely pause to ask the most crucial question: Do these two individuals truly want to marry each other?
This question, however simple, is often left unanswered. Consent gets tangled in layers of emotional pressure—“We’ve already informed relatives,” “What about your family’s reputation?” or “You will disappoint your parents.” These unspoken pressures make refusal nearly impossible, turning consent into compliance.
The Dangerous Cost of Compliance
But compliance is dangerous. It’s not true consent. It’s a fragile agreement built on fear of disappointing loved ones rather than personal choice. When a person is forced to say “yes,” the marriage becomes a forced marriage — regardless of physical force or violence.
The tragic outcomes—abuse, loveless relationships, and sometimes even murder—are symptoms of this deeper problem. The headline may read “murder inside marriage,” but the real story is the absence of free, informed consent.
If Indian society truly values marriage, it must prioritize respecting individual choice over family pressures. Parents should ask their children privately whether they feel loved regardless of their decision. Only a “yes” born from freedom and love can sustain a marriage.
Toward Respecting Individual Choice
Moreover, background checks and spending meaningful time together before marriage should be normalized. Compatibility cannot be judged by a few hurried meetings or horoscope matches. Marriage is not a wedding day; it is a lifetime of shared struggles, joys, and sacrifices.
Until India acknowledges emotional coercion as a form of force, the cycle of unhappy, even dangerous marriages will continue. Consent must be clear, respected, and free from guilt or obligation.
The lesson is not about men or women being dangerous but about how the fear of disappointing family can push people into tragic choices. India, a country that demands consent for the smallest acts, must learn to respect consent in the most important decision of a person’s life — whom they choose to marry.
